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A year ago today...

apollina baker

I was taking this photo and praying that the little girl inside my belly would turn upside down so that we could have a lovely natural birth. That very night, the very large bellied woman you see above was laying on an inverted ironing board, moxibustion-ing her pinky toes and crawling around on all fours to help persuade little Amara to flip.  What I know now about Amara that I didn't know then, is that, try as you might, you cannot impose your will upon her.

Taken today, a year later.

Taken today, a year later.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.  If she hadn't stayed breech, I would have been in the beautiful birthing center instead of the hospital getting a c-section where the talented surgeons discovered I had placenta accreta and not only saved my life with three blood transfusions, but also saved my uterus so that I can have more babies.  If Amara had done what I wanted, as the doctors and nurses told me many times during my 8 day stay at the hospital, I would likely have died at the birthing center or en route to the hospital.  

I wish I could tell my top-picture-self not to cry and that everything is going to be all right.  Trust God, there is a plan and there is a purpose, you are in good hands.

Amara will be one whole year old in 8 days!