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I'm Ready

apollina baker

For this new year to start!  2013 has brought many exciting changes and also tough challenges.  Nothing about my life is the same as when this year began.  Except my husband, I still got him;)

This year...

I had my daughter, Amara, who is more lovely and perfect than the little girl of my dreams.  Her birth was not the magical, beautiful experience we wanted or planned for.  It was a painful and difficult time but her beautiful little face and my husband's strength and support helped heal me.  With even more time, I'll be able to wholeheartedly feel joy when I see pictures of happy birth stories instead of feeling a nagging sadness.

I quit my job and became a stay at home Mom, a definite shock to my world.   I feel so incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to be at home with Amara.  I'm still figuring out what staying at home should look like (surely it shouldn't be staying in my p.j.s until I can't stand my own "scent") and I'm fighting feelings of guilt for not making my own money and inadequacy for not having a career.  My friends who stay at home said they felt the same way the first year and that I'll get over it;)  I am also trying to overcome my disinclination toward routines and strict schedules since that is what babies thrive on, Amara is bearing with me.

We moved our little family to an unknown land... Austin, TX.  No friends or family here but we have each other and high hopes that one day my sisters, their husbands and my Mom will one day move here too.  We are renting a house now, a lovely little house in a lovely little neighborhood, far from the walkability and convenience of the city but also far from those nap interrupting sirens.   So far, we love the weather and the night skies are so pretty here.  Amara is  8 and a half months and has already taken 6 round trip flights, a train ride to NYC and a trip to Mexico.  We are looking forward to a little less travel and a lot more stability in 2014...

This new year, I'm looking forward to watching Amara grow and learn more about herself and this big world she lives in.  I am excited to spend another year with Brad, my best friend and true love.  I'll be very happy to find a more permanent home that we can truly make our own.  One of my personal goals is to get physically strong and super healthy.  We want more babies and I want to make sure my body is up for it!  I already had a semi-fail yesterday b/c I was supposed to start my first day of kickboxing classes but I chickened out.  I am so intimidated by it!  When I went to a class up north a few weeks ago, I puked.  That made me determined to start taking classes here in Austin.  I went to check out a gym on Saturday and the instructor put me through a private mini-session.  It was intense.  I didn't go yesterday.  Cause I'm scared.  But there is always today...  The last day of 2013! And my more immediate goal, take a shower.

I am listening to the news and they just asked the question, "What if 2014 was the last year of your life, what would you do?" Hmmm...  I think we could all use more of a sense of urgency, I do anyway.  Having so much time often works against me.  I need a deadline to push me to start and to finish things.  So, here's to starting and finishing things in 2014!

I just want to thank all of you for coming here from time to time and being a part of my little life, love you guys.

Happy New Year!