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It's my birthday and I don't want any cake

apollina baker

I was brainstorming recipes and Google-imaging cakes earlier this week, trying to decide what my birthday cake should be and I just couldn't get into it. I'm caked out. I don't want to make one and I don't want to eat one. I actually attempted to make a couple of cakes this past weekend and I gave up 2/3 of the way through. They were baked, crumb-coated, one of them was even fondant-ed, and what did I do? On Sunday afternoon at approximately 3:00, I placed the cakes into a shoe box (yep) and placed them down the chute. I was just done.

And then I made fish sticks and macaroni and cheese.

I'm 31 today and it is the FIRST birthday I am not making a big celebratory deal of it. I guess because of all the excitement of the summer months (moving, getting married, honeymooning), and because 31 is underwhelming compared to last year's 30 - I mean, a hurricane even came to town to help me celebrate it! Although it is my "golden birthday" (31 on the 31st - it only happens once!), all I want today is to get off work before 8pm and eat a tuna fish sandwich with a handful of kettle chips smashed inside. Maybe with a candle in it:)

When I think about where I was last summer, mentally and emotionally, it astounds me. Last February I was breaking up with Brad, last April I sought out counseling and last June I was going on a yoga retreat in Mexico to find myself. If anyone is in a place in their lives at this moment where they are confused, unhappy, lost, I promise, so much can change in the course of a year. Keep making the tough decisions to change the things you're not finding contentment in. Seek wisdom above all else. You won't be here forever.

Have a wonderful Labor Day, and if your pool is closing after this weekend like mine is, enjoy it!

images via Fashionising